The Stupidest Comic

March 28, 2013 § Leave a comment

Yup. It’s that stupid.

Keeping with my reading of war comics, I checked out the first issue of Graveyard of Empires, and wow. This is a stupid comic book. Zombies-and-war mash-ups are usually an easy win, but Graveyard of Empires, with its condescending portrait of Marines and its naive politics, is asinine in a medium where the heroes wear their underwear outside their pants.

The concept is that Marines in Afghanistan have to team up with the Taliban to fight zombies.  It’s an interesting premise that offers some promise, but the world Mark Sable (Fearless) creates is too ridiculous for any kind of true political statement or even to be that entertaining.  The explosive ordnance disposal Marine wears his bomb suit all the time – even when he’s injecting himself with heroin. Everybody else in the unit does their junk by smoking it. The book has the whole cliched bit where the guy steps on the mine and freezes with his foot there while everybody else has to figure out what to do – a scene in every f’ing war movie. (Mines don’t actually do that. They just blow up.) And nearly every Afghani speaks English.

And that’s just the stuff in the first issue that a person would think ridiculous even if he or she had never been in the military. I usually forgive creators their liberties and inaccuracies, but does Mark Sable really think that Marines are such idiots that they believe “hajji” to be an insult?

Graveyard of Empires is a faux political statement trying to preach to a choir that’ll swallow anything. Every American in the story is a bastard, and every “hajji” is sympathetic – even the f’ing bomb maker is a doctor who treats poor, little wounded children. The book is pretty much an insult to anyone who’s served his country overseas, and even if Mark Sable and the artists involved actually had something to say, they could’ve found a clearer, more intelligent, and more original way of saying it.

Hey, let’s use good storytelling technique to insult servicemen!

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For a take on soldiers and monsters by someone who’s actually been to Afghanistan, be sure to check out my horror webcomic MetaMorphosis.

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