I Hate Animal Man

March 11, 2013 § Leave a comment

I can’t help it. I hate Animal Man.

I’ve tried hard to like Animal Man, and Animal Man tries so hard to be liked. His annoying family likes him. That whole life-force thing that he’s some kind of avatar for, The Red,  seems to like him. Maybe it’s the actor thing he’s got going on; you can’t like a guy who talks so much about his publicist. Fans have been devoted to him for years, yet I regard Animal Man with a simple and passionless hate.

Despite how lame the “Rotworld” crossover turned out (I’m dissatisfied with how Frankenstein, Agent of S.H.A.D.E. ended) Jeff Lemire‘s run on Animal Man was intriguing, bringing a new mythology to the character. Lemire’s whole ambivalence-about-fatherhood theme worked for AM. (Lemire is as stuck on the fatherhood theme as Steven Spielberg, but despite how many DC titles Lemire’s writing, I haven’t gotten tired of it… yet.) And forget about Travel Foreman‘s artwork. Those mind-bending illustrations started giving me flashbacks to 1980s-era Vertigo.

The only reason left to hate Animal Man is that his powers are really really lame. “Let me charge at you like a rhino!” “I’m gonna fly like a pigeon!” And my favorite: “Give me a minute to nap like a cat!!!”

I can’t help it. You write a superhero with lame powers, I’ll hate him. And the only character I hate more than Animal Man is buck-toothed Squirrel Girl.


Be sure to check out my horror webcomic MetaMorphosis!


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